Author Archive: alanostjoe

December Board Meeting canceled

The December Board of Directors Meeting has been canceled because of bad weather and family illness.

We are not rescheduling the meeting – our next meeting will be the January 8 election of the Board.

Issues for this month that were to be discussed tomorrow:

  • Christmas Eve Dinner at 2:00 PM on December 24, 2016.  Kirby has raised more than enough money through donations to pay for fried chicken.  Be sure to come and bring a side dish – enjoy the festivities and fellowship.
  • Josh poling is our new caretaker.  The parking spot in front of the carriage house is reserved for Josh.  Please inform others and ask them to not park in Josh’s spot.
  • Traditionally we leave the building open on new Years Eve until after midnight anyone who wants to have clean and sober fellowship and games.  We will again try to accommodate this event.

2016 Christmas Eve Dinner

The Alano Club of St. Joseph is again hosting a Christmas Eve Dinner.

  • Christmas Eve
  • Saturday, December 24th
  • 2:00 PM
  • 401 S. 11th.
  • St. Joseph, Missouri

Alano will provide catered Fried Chicken, Tea, and Coffee.

Please bring a side dish or dessert

As is typical of all Alano events a free will donation is appreciated.

alano-christmas-eve-flyer-001-2

 

People Pleasing – from Hazeldon

Today’s thought from Hazelden is:

People Pleasers

Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing.

People pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self trust.

People pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, “I hope I’m pleasing you.” Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people’s wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.

Help me, God, work through my fears and begin to please myself.

People Pleasing

Read over these statements to see if they apply to you under some circumstances:

  • I try to be who someone wants me to be.
  • am afraid to rock the boat.
  • It is hard for me to know what I want.
  • I avoid speaking my mind.
  • I find it easier to go along with what someone wants or with their opinion.
  • I fantasize about a strong person taking over my life and making it work.
  • It is hard for me to express my feelings when they are different from someone I’m close to.
  • It is difficult for me to say No.
  • I avoid getting angry.
  • It is hard for me to take initiative.
  • I try to be nice rather than expressing how I really feel.
  • I want everyone to get along.

If any of these statements are true the consider reading more:

http://personal-growth-programs.com/people-pleasing/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/21-tips-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/

http://verilymag.com/2015/06/unhealthy-approval-seeking-behavior-people-pleasers

Thanksgiving Dinner 2016

Thanksgiving is upon us.  November 24, 2016, shall see another celebration with food and friends.

Traditionally we serve food at 2:00 PM.

Alano is catering the turkey, ham, potatoes, and home made dinner rolls at this annual pot luck.  Please bring your favorite thanksgiving dish and dessert.

Please bring family and friends.

Free will donation accepted.

Al-Anon Christmas Speakers Meeting

Save the Date

December 14, 2016

5:00 PM to 7:30 PM

New Hope Al-Anon hosts the third annual Christmas Speakers Meeting

401 S. 11th

St. Joseph, Missouri

Tentatively five speakers (AA, NA, GA, DA, Al-Anon) each half hour beginning at 5:00

Snacks provided

 

Toxic People

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.  The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.

Cracker Barrel – 2016

The Alano club of St. Joseph is hosting the 15th annual Cracker Barrel weekend.

When:  August 13th and 14th (all day)

Where:401 S. 11th Street, St. Joseph., Missouri

Long-timers Speakers 20 Years plus

Saturday Pancake Breakfast (9-11am)  and close with Ice Cream Social (9pm -)

Sunday 3PM potluck

Saturday

9-11 am Pancake Breakfast hosted by the 401 AA Group

12 pm – AA-Quinn G. Hope Group – 21 years

2 pm – AA – Rick L. Accent on Sobriety Group – 26 years

4 pm AA – Larry S. Bootstraps Group – 22 years

6 pm – AA- Steve E. Sobriety & Beyond Group – 43 years

8 pm – Alanon – Dora J. Tri Alanon – 43 years

9:30 pm – Ice Cream Social – Host New Hope Alanon

Sunday

2 pm – AA- Joe W. Accent on Sobriety Group – 37 years

3 pm Potluck – bring a side dish

$$$ donations accepted – coffee and lemonade, pop for sale.

5 pm – Gary L. 401 Group 2.5 years

7 pm – AA – Mary C. Sober Skirts – 26 years

12 Promises of Debtors Anonymous

The 12 Promises of Debtors Anonymous

In the program of Debtors Anonymous, we come together to share our journey in recovering from compulsive debting. There is hope. In working D.A.’s Twelve Steps, we develop new ways of living. When we work D.A.’s Twelve Steps and use D.A.’s Tools, we begin to receive these gifts of the program:

1. Where once we felt despair, we will experience a newfound hope.

2. Clarity will replace vagueness. Confidence and intuition will replace confusion and chaos. We will live engaged lives, make decisions that best meet our needs, and become the people we were meant to be.

3. We will live within our means, yet our means will not define us.

4. We will begin to live a prosperous life, unencumbered by fear, worry, resentment, or debt.

5. We will realize that we are enough; we will value ourselves and our contributions.

6. Isolation will give way to fellowship; faith will replace fear.

7. We will recognize that there is enough; our resources will be generous and we will share them with others and with DA.

8. We will cease to compare ourselves to others; jealousy and envy will fade.

9. Acceptance and gratitude will replace regret, self-pity, and longing.

10. We will no longer fear the truth; we will move from hiding in denial to living in reality.

11. Honesty will guide our actions toward a rich life filled with meaning and purpose.

12. We will recognize a Power greater than ourselves as the source of our abundance.

We will ask for help and guidance and have faith that they will come. All this and more is possible. When we work this program with integrity and to the best of our ability, one day at a time, a life of prosperity and serenity will be ours.

Signs of Compulsive Debting

From Debtors Anonymous

Signs of Compulsive Debting

If you think you might have a problem with money and debt, look over these Twelve Signposts on the Road to Compulsive Debting, If you can recognize yourself in 8 or more of the descriptions below, you may be a compulsive debtor, and DA can help you.

1) Being unclear about your financial situation. Not knowing account balances, monthly expenses, loan interest rates, fees, fines, or contractual obligations.

2) Constantly “borrowing” items such as books, pens, or small amounts of money from friends and others, and failing to return them.

3) Poor saving habits. Not planning for taxes, retirement or other non-recurring but predictable items, and then feeling surprised when they come due; a “live for today, don’t worry about tomorrow” attitude.”

4) Compulsive shopping: Being unable to pass up a “good deal”; making impulsive purchases; leaving price tags on clothes so they can be returned; not using items you’ve purchased.

5) Difficulty in meeting basic financial or personal obligations, and/or an inordinate sense of accomplishment when such obligations are met.

6) A different feeling when buying things on credit than when paying cash, a feeling of being in the club, of being accepted, of being grown up.

7) Living in chaos and drama around money: Using one credit card to pay another; bouncing checks; always having a financial crises to contend with.

8) A tendency to live on the edge: Living paycheck to paycheck; taking risks with health and car insurance coverage; writing checks hoping money will appear to cover them.

9) Unwarranted inhibition and embarrassment in what should be a normal discussion of money.

10) Overworking or under earning: Working extra hours to earn money to pay creditors; using time inefficiently; taking jobs below your skill and education level.

11. An unwillingness to care for and value yourself: Living in self-imposed deprivation; denying your basic needs in order to pay your creditors.

12. A feeling or hope that someone will take care of you if necessary, so that you won’t really get into serious financial trouble, that there will always be someone you can turn to.