Author Archive: alanostjoe

People Pleasing

Read over these statements to see if they apply to you under some circumstances:

  • I try to be who someone wants me to be.
  • am afraid to rock the boat.
  • It is hard for me to know what I want.
  • I avoid speaking my mind.
  • I find it easier to go along with what someone wants or with their opinion.
  • I fantasize about a strong person taking over my life and making it work.
  • It is hard for me to express my feelings when they are different from someone I’m close to.
  • It is difficult for me to say No.
  • I avoid getting angry.
  • It is hard for me to take initiative.
  • I try to be nice rather than expressing how I really feel.
  • I want everyone to get along.

If any of these statements are true the consider reading more:

http://personal-growth-programs.com/people-pleasing/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/21-tips-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/

http://verilymag.com/2015/06/unhealthy-approval-seeking-behavior-people-pleasers

Thanksgiving Dinner 2016

Thanksgiving is upon us.  November 24, 2016, shall see another celebration with food and friends.

Traditionally we serve food at 2:00 PM.

Alano is catering the turkey, ham, potatoes, and home made dinner rolls at this annual pot luck.  Please bring your favorite thanksgiving dish and dessert.

Please bring family and friends.

Free will donation accepted.

Al-Anon Christmas Speakers Meeting

Save the Date

December 14, 2016

5:00 PM to 7:30 PM

New Hope Al-Anon hosts the third annual Christmas Speakers Meeting

401 S. 11th

St. Joseph, Missouri

Tentatively five speakers (AA, NA, GA, DA, Al-Anon) each half hour beginning at 5:00

Snacks provided

 

Toxic People

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.  The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.

Cracker Barrel – 2016

The Alano club of St. Joseph is hosting the 15th annual Cracker Barrel weekend.

When:  August 13th and 14th (all day)

Where:401 S. 11th Street, St. Joseph., Missouri

Long-timers Speakers 20 Years plus

Saturday Pancake Breakfast (9-11am)  and close with Ice Cream Social (9pm -)

Sunday 3PM potluck

Saturday

9-11 am Pancake Breakfast hosted by the 401 AA Group

12 pm – AA-Quinn G. Hope Group – 21 years

2 pm – AA – Rick L. Accent on Sobriety Group – 26 years

4 pm AA – Larry S. Bootstraps Group – 22 years

6 pm – AA- Steve E. Sobriety & Beyond Group – 43 years

8 pm – Alanon – Dora J. Tri Alanon – 43 years

9:30 pm – Ice Cream Social – Host New Hope Alanon

Sunday

2 pm – AA- Joe W. Accent on Sobriety Group – 37 years

3 pm Potluck – bring a side dish

$$$ donations accepted – coffee and lemonade, pop for sale.

5 pm – Gary L. 401 Group 2.5 years

7 pm – AA – Mary C. Sober Skirts – 26 years

12 Promises of Debtors Anonymous

The 12 Promises of Debtors Anonymous

In the program of Debtors Anonymous, we come together to share our journey in recovering from compulsive debting. There is hope. In working D.A.’s Twelve Steps, we develop new ways of living. When we work D.A.’s Twelve Steps and use D.A.’s Tools, we begin to receive these gifts of the program:

1. Where once we felt despair, we will experience a newfound hope.

2. Clarity will replace vagueness. Confidence and intuition will replace confusion and chaos. We will live engaged lives, make decisions that best meet our needs, and become the people we were meant to be.

3. We will live within our means, yet our means will not define us.

4. We will begin to live a prosperous life, unencumbered by fear, worry, resentment, or debt.

5. We will realize that we are enough; we will value ourselves and our contributions.

6. Isolation will give way to fellowship; faith will replace fear.

7. We will recognize that there is enough; our resources will be generous and we will share them with others and with DA.

8. We will cease to compare ourselves to others; jealousy and envy will fade.

9. Acceptance and gratitude will replace regret, self-pity, and longing.

10. We will no longer fear the truth; we will move from hiding in denial to living in reality.

11. Honesty will guide our actions toward a rich life filled with meaning and purpose.

12. We will recognize a Power greater than ourselves as the source of our abundance.

We will ask for help and guidance and have faith that they will come. All this and more is possible. When we work this program with integrity and to the best of our ability, one day at a time, a life of prosperity and serenity will be ours.

Signs of Compulsive Debting

From Debtors Anonymous

Signs of Compulsive Debting

If you think you might have a problem with money and debt, look over these Twelve Signposts on the Road to Compulsive Debting, If you can recognize yourself in 8 or more of the descriptions below, you may be a compulsive debtor, and DA can help you.

1) Being unclear about your financial situation. Not knowing account balances, monthly expenses, loan interest rates, fees, fines, or contractual obligations.

2) Constantly “borrowing” items such as books, pens, or small amounts of money from friends and others, and failing to return them.

3) Poor saving habits. Not planning for taxes, retirement or other non-recurring but predictable items, and then feeling surprised when they come due; a “live for today, don’t worry about tomorrow” attitude.”

4) Compulsive shopping: Being unable to pass up a “good deal”; making impulsive purchases; leaving price tags on clothes so they can be returned; not using items you’ve purchased.

5) Difficulty in meeting basic financial or personal obligations, and/or an inordinate sense of accomplishment when such obligations are met.

6) A different feeling when buying things on credit than when paying cash, a feeling of being in the club, of being accepted, of being grown up.

7) Living in chaos and drama around money: Using one credit card to pay another; bouncing checks; always having a financial crises to contend with.

8) A tendency to live on the edge: Living paycheck to paycheck; taking risks with health and car insurance coverage; writing checks hoping money will appear to cover them.

9) Unwarranted inhibition and embarrassment in what should be a normal discussion of money.

10) Overworking or under earning: Working extra hours to earn money to pay creditors; using time inefficiently; taking jobs below your skill and education level.

11. An unwillingness to care for and value yourself: Living in self-imposed deprivation; denying your basic needs in order to pay your creditors.

12. A feeling or hope that someone will take care of you if necessary, so that you won’t really get into serious financial trouble, that there will always be someone you can turn to.

Debtors Anonymous To Meet At Alano

Last fall the Board approved an agreement for Debtors Anonymous to meet at Alano.  We were contacted yesterday and that group now has their sanction from the WSO of Debtors Anonymous.  They will begin meeting at Alano this Saturday at 5:30 PM in what is called the Al-Anon Room.  Their rent will be the minimum start-up charged by Alano – $25.00 per month – beginning in June.

NEW GROUP AT ALANO:

DEBTORS ANONYMOUS

5:30 PM Saturdays

Location:

401 S. 11th

St. Joseph, Missouri

Alano Club of St. Joseph

(meeting in the Al-Anon Room)

 

Alano Has a New Caretaker

The Board interviewed and chose Raymond Shaw as the new Caretaker at the regular monthly Board meeting on April 24, 2016.  Ray gave a three minute presentation on why he believes being Caretaker would be good for him and for Alano.  Everyone was impressed.  His presentation was followed by about ten minutes of questions from Board members.

The Executive Committee of the Board is also the personnel committee.  We shall review the current caretaker contract with Ray and tailor the contract to Ray’s abilities and our needs.  This is not to say that anything will be compromised – it is to say that every caretaker comes with strengths and weaknesses.  Our intention is to focus on the positive.

Alano has operated for sixty-seven years with an all-volunteer work force.  In every case we seek the positive attributes and minimize the negative.  This is in keeping with our Mission of helping others.

Ray has been one of the regular volunteers helping with the restoration of our building.  We are quite familiar with his work.

A few things are likely to change with Ray as Caretaker.  In the past the 12 Step Groups were expected to clean their room.  Some do better than others.  Because we meet in the historic Hax mansion at 401 S. 11th Street, we have unique maintenance needs.  For instance – our parquet wood floors are original with the 1886 mansion.  These floors require specific and regular upkeep.  Ray will likely be tasked with making sure the floors are well maintained, including in the Group meeting areas.  This means regular sweeping and mopping with specific cleaning products.

If you see Ray give him a high five – or a hug – whatever your preference.  We welcome Ray with great hopes for the future of Alano.

Alano is Looking for a Caretaker

 

The Alano Club of St. Joseph is looking for a Caretaker.

 

The Caretaker lives in the Alano building at 401 S. 11th.  We offer a large bedroom, full bath, a shared kitchen, and plenty of fellowship.

The responsibilities are negotiable but generally include locking and unlocking  the main entrance – thus maintaining building hours, keeping the kitchen and bathrooms clean, some floor cleaning in group rooms (sweeping and mopping), routine yard work like cutting the grass and shoveling the walks, and a full time presence at Alano.

This is a great opportunity for someone in recovery and perhaps on disability.

The last caretaker paid $100 per month – but that is negotiable depending on other responsibilities.

 

Please send inquiries by letter to: Alano Club, 401 S. 11th Street, St. Joseph, Missouri, 64501; or by email to glclark4750@gmail.com.  Be sure to leave contact information.

Also, I am generally at Alano (401 S. 11th) on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 4:30 to about 6:30 – come by if you would like to chat.

Gary L. Clark

Alano Club President