Two Wolves


Two Wolves

Once a brave when to his elder, to speak of his anger toward a friend who had done him an injustice.  The Elder listened, then replied:

            “At times I too have felt great fury at those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do.  But hate destroys you and does not harm your enemy.  I struggled with these feelings many times.”

            The Elder continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm.  He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended.  He will only fight when it is right to do so, and then he fights in the right way.

            “But…the other wolf…Ah!  The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper.  He is vengeful, angry, and violent.

            “It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both try to dominate my spirit.  The same fight goes on inside you, and inside every other human as well.”

            The Brave paused in deep reflection, then asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight?”

            The Elder replied, “The wolf that you feed”.



Cognitive Distortions (Stinking Thinking)


Cognitive Distortions

(Stinking Thinking)


1.      All or nothing thinking—

a.      Everything is black or white

b.      The basis of perfectionism

c.       Feelings of rejection, disappointment, depression

2.      Over-generalization—

a.      Arbitrarily conclude that a single negative event will occur again and again.

3.      Selective negative focus—

a.      Pick out a negative detail, dwell on it, exaggerate it, everything becomes negative.

4.      Disqualifying the positive—

a.      Disregarding compliments

b.      Swallowing negative

5.      Arbitrary interference—

a.      Mind reading – drawing negative conclusion

b.      Negative predictions

6.      Magnification or minimization—

a.      Tendency to exaggerate weak points about self and to minimize good points.

7.      Emotional reasoning—

a.      Take emotions as evidence for truth

                                                                                      i.      Feel guilty so must have done something wrong

                                                                                    ii.      Feel hopeless so the problem is impossible

8.      Should Statements

a.      Feel guilty about what we “should” be doing of have done.

9.      Labeling and mislabeling—

a.      Creating completely negative image based on focus on negative.

b.      Exaggerated thoughts create exaggerated emotions then exaggerated actions, etc.

c.       “One error does not a failure make”

10.  Personalization—

a.      The mother of guilt

                                                                                      i.      “Where did I go wrong?”

                                                                                    ii.      Feel rejecting of self.

Alanon- Understanding Tradition Eleven and Social Media

Understanding Tradition Eleven and Social Media

The Forum March 2014


The Al-Anon WSO Facebook pages have been quite successful in reaching a broad audience.  Because it is a new form of media, members have asked how they can use social media within the confines of the Legacies.  A member recently asked if sharing posts is honoring Tradition Eleven. 

Understanding Tradition Eleven and Social Media 001Tradition Eleven touches on two main topics, attraction versus promotion and anonymity at the level of the media.

Members can easily maintain their anonymity by not mentioning their membership or making comments that imply membership.  When people share a post on Facebook, they have the option of adding a comment.  To ensure that one’s anonymity is not being compromised, members are encouraged not to use this feature.

To understand the difference between attraction and promotion, it may be helpful to remember that attraction is simply sharing information, and then letting go, allowing the other person to learn more at their own initiative rather than trying to convince someone, make promises about what the program will do, or give advice – that would be promotion.

An example of attraction is when members leave copies of Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism, Al-Anon’s public outreach magazine, in a doctors’ office.  If patients are interested, they’ll pick up a copy and learn Al-Anon could help them.  On the other hand, is it promotion if members try to convince someone to take a copy of Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism, or insist that they should read an article that will “really help them”. 

Al-Anon’s Step Twelve encourages all members to share Al-Anon’s message of hope with others who may be suffering from the effects of a loved one’s drinking.  This would be impossible without attraction.

Would you consider participating in this fellowship-wide outreach project?  Find us on Facebook and Twitter by searching for “Al-Anon WSO”.

If you would like to learn more about the difference between attraction and promotion, please refer to Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual (P-24/27), p 107.